This isn’t the blog you’re looking for: Parasite Version

There’s a recent post over at Dynamic Ecology about all of the weird/funny/surprising search terms that have lead people to that blog.  I’m copying their idea, because it is brilliant.

“interview with a ribeiroia”:   My all-time favorite.  This should be a cartoon.

“How to get rid of helminths,” “get rid of helminths,” “what parasites can we get from chicken blood,” “why do i have haematoloechus medioplexus,” “how does a person get parasites,” and “my helminths”:  People really want this blog to explain why they got their parasites, and how to get of them.

“dirty hippo”: I’m guessing that this is a dance move?

“leech on an arse,” “anus leeches,” and “parasites arse”:  There is a hippo ass leech.  Maybe there are other anus leeches, too?

“snail metamorphosis”:  Best part is when they crawl up on emergent vegetation, sprout wings, and disperse to new ponds.  (Relevant.)

I want a pet flying snail.

“damselfly larvae invasion”: If they’re the size of elephants, that would be the best action/thriller movie EVER.

“guy eating giant gummy worm,” “swallow gummy bears”:  One time, I mentioned that you might take helminth supplements one day, just like you take gummy bear vitamins.  I don’t think that’s what these people were looking for.

“breakfast for parasites”:  Pretty sure they eat the same thing for every meal.  “Awwman, host for breakfast again?!”

“a jaguar is a parasite or a host?” “jaguar parasite,” and “what is the parasite of a jaguar”:  Who knew jaguar parasites were so popular?

“typhoid mary harbored the salmonella in her”:  Harbored.  Heh.

“how can you tell that your pond has “zooplankton”:  Learn to listen to their songs.

“do parasitic worms make noise?”:  Oh, yes, even louder than the zooplankton.

“diase hot saxy”:  Not really sure about this one?  Is it a song, or a typo?  I did write a post about malaria making birds sexy.

“shit bettles and worms 2013”:  I don’t even know.

“can you eat almonds if you have macroparasites”:  Why not?
“i being consumed by a parasite oooh”:  If this one isn’t song lyrics, it should be!
“eggs stuck on my window”:  ???

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